Blah

I haven't been writing because I haven't had anything to write about. Except Wednesday night when I was studying for two tests, I had a million things I wanted to write about. But that's just because I can't focus on schoolwork. And again I'm sitting here trying to think of something fun or interesting, but nothing is happening. I'm watching a lot of Dexter right now, that's fun. I'll come back later if inspiration strikes. It's not happening at the moment.

Am I Boring?

I want to write something that people want to read. I feel like I ramble. Nothing interesting is going on in my life, I am a student who works full time at a restaurant. I'm happy with my life, I just don't know if I can write about it in a way that will keep others interested. I enjoy writing, even if no one reads what I write. BUT, ideally, I want to ramble and vent about day to day things and have people checking my blog every day to see what I have to say next. Therapy for me, entertainment for others. I guess for now all I can do is continue writing and see what happens. Maybe my writing isn't developed enough right now. Maybe if I continue writing for me, and reading it back, I will learn what I need to change to make this more appealing for someone else. Feedback is good too, especially negative! How else am I supposed to learn? So if you are reading this write now, please fill me in. Let me know if you enjoy this or not. Only friends and family know about this blog right now anyways, so you should feel comfortable talking to me about it! Until then I will continue on... rambling.

Ever since I started keeping a journal in the 3rd grade I've enjoyed writing. Before I even knew what the words on the pages of a book meant, I enjoyed reading. Somewhere between then and now I decided I wanted to write a book. When I was younger this didn't seem like such a big deal. I had so many stories and fantasies running through my head, all I had to do was get them on paper. I clearly didn't understand what goes into writing a book. But I think I had what it starts with. I had inspiration, creativity. The will to create a whole world out of words. Which is why the thought is still there. I refuse to believe that I lost that. I refuse to look at those desires and say that was me as a child with an imagination. I still have imagination. I still look at my world as possibilities, daydreaming about what could happen. I have a lot to learn, my high school education is not enough to get me through a book. But it is still a thought, and I am deciding to entertain it. I want to keep that thought alive. As a child I had the ideas, the confidence. Now I am realistic, I have an idea of how hard it will really be. So now I want to learn how to be a successful writer, and also remember what it was like to let my imagination run wild.

Mythology

(Written 8/31 in class)
"I really like mythology. That is really one of the only things I remember learning in 6th grade. I was Artemis for a project. All of the girls wanted to be Aphrodite, but I thought Artemis was way more appealing. Badass, if you will. She was a hunter, a goddess of the moon. Armed with a bow and arrow. I loved all of the stories, I think that's why I enjoyed the subject. It's taught in history, but it's all fictional. It's like learning about a sci-fi book in school. Not much I could do with all of that knowledge though. Instead I need to learn about productivity, early world history, the scientific method. Boring stuff. Why can't I read mythology, take pottery classes, writing classes, and yoga in school and make a living from those skills? I'll write sci-fi books while staying at home and doing yoga and pottery when my brain needs a break. But no, these aren't things the average person considers normal. An education means you learn economics, algebra, how to write a research paper. That's what will make me intelligent, the classes in my business major. So, I will carry on. I need to learn something that will make getting a job easier. Making money so I can provide for myself and my family if I need to. But I will still daydream about mythology while my econ teacher rambles on about GDP...

I want to travel. I don't want Atlanta to be my home forever. I can make a home wherever I go, and I want to go. It looks like next summer I will have a chance to actually follow through. Depends on many things. Money, school, having the "balls" to leave my family and friends behind. Moving with my boyfriend, making that decision to do something so life changing with him at my side. I have to let myself trust him. I do trust him, but moving across the country with him is a big step. I'm confident I could make it without him once I make friends and establish myself there, but I don't want to go anticipating that things won't work out with him. Is that being realistic or pessimistic? Is planning for the worst setting myself up for failure?"

Yeah all of this was written in econ. He was lecturing on productivity, the first econ concept that has been easy this semester. To touch on the moving thing, Tom wants to move out west. He wants a career with food, and he is pretty set on going west for his next step up. I would LOVE to move out there. I'm young, this is the perfect time to live in a different city away from my family. When I have a family of my own I would love to be close to my parents, and I love Atlanta, I would definitely come back. But right now I have nothing keeping me from packing my bags. I told someone my main concern was school, and his reply was "school is everywhere." Which is very true. So really the only thing is money, which I can make work. Of course moving across the country is scary, let alone doing it with Tom. But when I think about it, there is no one else I would rather travel with. Next summer isn't very far away, planning needs to start now. I want to say, I don't know what things will be like 9 months from now, but really if I'm thinking about doing something like this, I need to start preparing for it.Well that is definitely the most personal I've ever been in this blog. I guess I can handle publishing this. I needed to write this to make this whole thing more concrete. I can't keep looking at it as a dream. It's just moving, no big deal :)

Spaghetti

One of the meals I make for myself is spaghetti with ground beef. Very simple, I don't make my own sauce, I use Newman's Own Sockarooni, it already has peppers and mushrooms and stuff in it, and I just add more spices and a little butter. I use lean ground beef (add a lot of spices to that too) and just stir them together. I freeze it in a few containers so I don't have to try and eat it all in a couple days, and I cook pasta when I thaw the sauce. Anyways. I was cooking that today and I remembered something. My mom had me helping her cook when I was probably around 11 or 12. Maybe earlier. Spaghetti is definitely one of the earliest memories I have of cooking (it's pretty simple), and I remembered one detail tonight when I tried a bite of the meat. I used to have to take some of the cooked meat and put it on a plate for my little sister. Add salt, and that's it. That was her dinner. She was incredibly picky, and hated marinara. I remember being jealous of her plate of meat and wishing I could eat that too. Why? Clearly I was jealous of her "special treatment." She got to eat something different then all of us. Now that I think about it, she was obviously the one missing out. Lean ground beef with salt is pretty damn bland. Hard to eat, even. She didn't even add ketchup or anything. I enjoyed that memory. I'm really grateful that my mom had me cooking so early. I never thought it was anything special before, but now that I'm older I've realized how much of a blessing that is. She made sure that we had a home cooked meal almost every night of my childhood, and has made sure that my siblings and I all learned enough to be able to cook on our own. I don't think my siblings ever spent as much time in the kitchen as I did, maybe because I was the oldest and learned how to first, or maybe it is because I enjoyed being in the kitchen. I would have never admitted that to my mom then, but I definitely enjoy cooking now, so I had to have enjoyed it a little. To end this rant, thank you Mom. I now realize how much time and energy you put into something I used to consider so simple. A home cooked meal every night is not something every child is blessed with, and I do realize how blessed I was with an amazing Mother growing up. (You still are amazing, of course.)

I did a little yoga tonight. I'm really excited to work on my flexibility. When I did TaeKwondo I got an inch away from being able to do a split, and now I can't even touch my toes without bending my knees. That used to be the easiest thing. So I'm excited to stretch my body out again. I felt great during and after I did the exercises, so I won't need much motivation to keep this up. Youtube is an amazing thing. I used this video today, and part 2. I like her, but I'll definitely try some other ones so I can compare them. I want to get a routine down so I can listen to music while I do it instead of watching a video.

I'm using blogging as an excuse not to study history, I really need to get back to it. I have to get that B average! My goal is an A average, but I HAVE to get a B. I'm not a C student, I'm not a C student, I'm not a C student. I need to keep telling myself that before I try to get prescribed to adderal. I CAN focus on these notes, I DON'T have a problem. Ugh.

Sunday Funday

I don't know who coined the term "Sunday Funday", but they couldn't be more right. What is better than a Sunday off after a long week of work and school? This might be my last Sunday off for a while since I'm new on the Nava schedule, so I'm really going to enjoy this one. I wish I could give them a good reason to permanently have Sundays off. Rathbun's is closed on Sunday (where Tom works) so he always has Sunday off unless there is a special event. That's really been our day together for the past few months, I'm going to miss that. It's hard to get a full day with him. I'm not sure yet what we are doing today. Hopefully something outside, I need to get some sun, it looks like I've been in a cave all summer.

Money. I've only made minimum wage this week, so I'm a little worried about what I'll be left with after I pay rent. Speaking of minimum wage, I did learn something interesting in in Econ this week. Minimum wage in December 1964 was $1.15. In December 2007 it was $5.85. But once you factor in inflation the purchasing power of $1.90 in 2007 would be $7.78. I never really understood the power of inflation, it's pretty amazing. Anyways, just wanted to share that, ha. Econ really is teaching me some valuable information, but it is definitely the class I'm having the hardest time understanding. Formulas always get me. Math isn't my strong point. Back to money. My parents offered to pay for my books for school. I hate accepting money from them, I want to know that I can do it myself. I'm out of the house and they shouldn't have to be burdened with things like that. But they have made it clear they want to, so we'll see if I can swallow my pride and let them. Depends on a few things. I definitely need to get my History book tomorrow, I already have a test on Tuesday and he made it clear that there are some maps and stuff in the book that we need to know. Great. $120 for a history book. Ridiculous.

If anyone is actually reading this they might be wondering about my goals I talked about in the beginning of this blog. This was supposed to be about me getting in shape and improving health and overall well-being. I have DEFINITELY been eating better. I buy chicken, lunch meat, tuna, eggs, and fruits and vegies. I have some carbs like toast and pasta here and there. The only time I don't eat well is when I go out. I have no desire to go out to a restaurant and order plain fish with steamed vegies. No thank you. But if I'm just getting lunch or something I try to make the healthier choice. BUT, the exercising part has not happened. Besides the normal running around at work all week. I was supposed to be running with Roxy all summer. It's just a really hard habit to get into. Now that the weather is nicer I know I will be more motivated. We had a hot summer, the only time to run without worrying about passing out is early morning and after the sun sets. When I'm at work. Still, no excuses. I'm definitely not happy with myself. So, that's my health update. The new thing I would like to try to include as well as running is yoga. I always loved the stretching part of TaeKwonDo, and working in a restaurant can be pretty strenuous, I know my body would really benefit from it. Youtube has a lot of videos, so I wouldn't need to pay for a class or anything.

Enough rambling for today. Ready, set, Sunday Funday! :)

Magic Hat #9

Something freaky happened to me last night. My beer talked to me. Seriously.

I'm making a cork board for Tom out of wine corks, I haven't started it yet but I have been collecting corks, I'm actually very close to having enough. Working in a restaurant does have it's perks. When I discovered recently that Magic Hat puts phrases on the inside of their beer tops I decided I want to use those to put around the outside of the board. So I'll be drinking a lot of their beer for a few weeks. Anyways, I opened mine last night while Tom and I were standing in the kitchen and I looked at my top right away, I always love the little sayings. I freaked. It said, word for word, "You need to write more." Seriously? Obviously there are a lot of people that would apply to, but that's been something that has really been on my mind lately, so I thought that was pretty crazy. I'm going to have to save that one for myself. I'll take a picture of it and put it on here as another reminder. So even when I don't have much time, or much to say (that's rare), I'll make this a priority. Because my beer talked to me :)

I'm eating an orange and listening to Civil Twilight (I'm newly obsessed with these beautiful South Africans) in my room as I write this. I actually need to start getting ready for dinner. Tatyana, Kendra, and I are going to Bluepointe to have dinner in the lounge around 6. If Tatyana ever gets to leave work. She works at Mellow Mushroom now in Midtown. Pretty sweet gig actually, she will probably make as much as I do. I'm really excited about eating at Bluepointe, I haven't sat down to eat there probably since last summer. It's a great place, I really love the food. And this happy hour menu is crazy cheap. Hopefully they will take care of me and I won't have to pay for too much. Well I am going to go open a Magic Hat #9 and get ready for dinner. Who knows what my beer will say to me this time...

I Love My Puppy

I'm watching Roxy dominate Rocky right now. While he is sleeping she will come over and just stand over him, it's pretty funny. Now she is rolling around on him on nibbling on his chest. Dogs are so weird.
I can't wait until the weather changes. It's that time of the year where I don't want to leave my house and get in my car just because of how hot it is. My AC is pretty worthless in my car so I am always a sweaty mess after a couple minutes. For example, I'm dreading having to go to Petco before work. I guess I could go on the way. I also need to go find a way to print my official notice for Bluepointe. Tatyana's printer is out of ink. Oh yeah, that's right, I got a new job! Still working for Buckhead Life, but I'll be at Nava now. It's a little more laid back and I've heard great things about the staff, so I'm really excited. I will be working with Tom's roommate's girlfriend. And Tom works with him at Rathbuns, it's pretty funny how that works out. Plus Tom's neighbor is Tatyana's boyfriend. My world is so small.
I think that's all for the moment. I'll probably write again later.

I Need a Camera

I really want a nice camera so I can start documenting my life with pictures. Words and pictures. But I also need a new car. And I want a laptop. And the new iPhone 4 would be nice. Money money money. One day I'll have it.

I just got back from grocery shopping. Just some basic stuff. Chicken breasts, sliced turkey and cheese, stuff to make spaghetti with the two pounds of ground beef I have in the freezer, tomatoes (I just eat those with salt usually, best snack), an onion (all the onions I bought at the farmers market went bad because I couldn't eat them fast enough), and eggs. I ate the rest of my Chipotle for breakfast so I'll just make a sandwich or something right before work. I got my Chipotle fix yesterday for lunch. I used to eat there at least once a week, but I've really cut back to around once a month. Yay. I switched with someone to get yesterday off, which was great because I needed to get some stuff done. So I put away the piles of clothes in my room and vacuumed the house (quite an ordeal with all the Roxy hair) before I got ready to go to Houston's at West Paces to apply. All I have left to do to clean this week is dust and clean the bathrooms. And give Roxy a bath. I want to take her swimming in the river as a treat before her bath. Maybe this weekend. So I went to Houston's to apply yesterday, and they called me back right after I left and scheduled an interview for today! Yay! So I'm going in there before work. I still want to get an interview at the one on Lenox, so I think I'm going to call them today. I applied there Monday so it's been three days. All I know is I'm on my way to getting a new job, and I'm so excited! After I applied there yesterday I went over to Kendra's and got to hang out with her for a couple hours and see sweet Isla! It was great, I haven't seen them in awhile. Isla is changing so fast, I love being able to see her grow! After that I went to my parents' house with Roxy and had dinner with my family. It is always nice to spend time with them and let the dogs run around. They are best friends, both of them are always so excited to see each other. Overall it was a great day off.

I'm going to go surf Etsy now :)

Hey There

I'm not sure what happened. Mostly, I'm lazy. Also I promised myself I would be honest in this blog, and honestly I haven't made much progress with my weight loss. Ugh. My eating habits have improved, I make better choices than I used to, but I haven't worked out since I ran last time I updated. So that means I haven't made much progress with Roxy either, she needs the exercise as much as I do. List of things I need to get done this week instead of being lazy before work...

-Run
-Grocery shopping (to prevent eating out)
-Vacuum (and clean bathrooms, put away clothes, etc)
-Brush and bathe Roxy
-Continue applying for jobs
-Read the news/other material to increase my knowledge

These are all things that I know if I accomplish I will feel better about myself. Getting a new job is definitely the priority right now. I've had my moments where I hated working at Bluepointe, and then I realized I was making enough money and really enjoyed most of the people I worked with. Now I've hit a point where I can't see the good things anymore and I hate going there every day. I don't mind waiting tables. I can make good money in the restaurant business while I'm in school, and it can actually be a lot of fun. But I can say I am MISERABLE at work lately. My eye has been twitching this past week, ha. And there is nothing else going on in my life that would stress me out. So I applied at Houston's on Lenox today, and they said they would call me. While I wait for that call I'm going to the Houston's on West Paces. If I don't get an interview this week, I'll probably start applying in Midtown. The commute would be worth it if I'm making more money. Midtown is just as far as Buckhead anyways. I'm really excited for something new. New people, new experiences. It is always hard to move from one job to the next, but I'm so ready for the challenge.

Ever since I woke up this morning I have felt like there is something stuck in my throat. Not something I could actually cough up, it feels like I was swallowing a piece of chicken or something and it's still there. I know nothing is, but it's freaking me out because I know my throat must be swollen for it to feel like that. Maybe it's just because I smoked cigarettes last night. I "quit" but I still will smoke one when I drink sometimes. If I buy a pack it takes me at least 3 weeks to finish it. But last night I was drinking and with a group of people who smoke A LOT and I ended up smoking more than my one or two I would normally while drinking. I guess if it goes away soon I can blame it on cigs, and if not I'll think about going to the doctor. Speaking of the doctor, I got a weird phone call yesterday. Saturday afternoon I ordered some food to go from Tin Lizzy's on the way to work. I got half a skillet with chicken and avacado, and chips with salsa and queso. It was all good, I love their food. Sunday morning I get a phone call from Tin Lizzy's. This girl asked for me, introduced herself as Nicole, and asked if I ordered food to go the previous day. I told her yes, and she asked if everything was okay. I said yes, it was fine, and she said okay great and hung up. I have NEVER ordered food to take home from a restaurant and had them call me to make sure it was okay. Especially the day after. So the two things that I think it could be are maybe some orders got mixed up, but mine ended up being right and they didn't know, or maybe someone got sick and they were calling to see if I had gotten sick as well. That freaked me out. Ever since then I'm scared I'm going to start throwing up or something, because you're not supposed to see symptoms from food poisoning till over a day later. Ugh. I know I'm over thinking it, but isn't that weird? I wish I would've thought to ask her why she called. I was just so confused and then she hung up.

I'm done rambling for now. I'm going to finish my glass of Whitehaven, Sauvignon Blanc (one of my favorite white wines) and relax before bed. Goodnight! Pray I find the motivation to get these things done this week!

Pure, Steak, and Home Alone

I had a GREAT time with my parents and my brother David on Wednesday. We went to Pure in Woodstock, had a couple pitchers of margs and ate good food. My dad and I split the pork gorditas(?), these friend corn things stuffed with pork and topped with guacamole, salsa, and sour cream. Probably not the healthiest thing on the menu, but so yummy. My mom starting acting silly after her two margaritas, but she acts silly anyways, that's why I love her :) It was her 50th birthday yesterday! We were talking about how fun her 40th birthday party was, it would be cool if we could have another party like that. After dinner Roxy and I headed home. I always bring her when I go up to see my family, their dog Harley is Roxy's best friend. They run around in the backyard for hours, they are so fun to watch. Harley does this hilarious snapping thing with his mouth that reminds me of an alligator, I've never seen a dog act like that before. He just snaps at the air when he gets excited instead of actually biting anything. So on the way home Tatyana called me and said she was still in Atlanta! Her flights kept getting delayed so she stayed home that night and left yesterday instead. So she came home and we got to drink some wine and talk for a while which was such a great surprise since I thought the next time I was going to see her would be in august. I just talked to her on facebook, she made it to Dubai safe and sound and she is excited to spend a couple days hanging out before she has to start work. I'm so happy for her :)

Yesterday I started off my morning with eggs, onions, turkey, and goat cheese again. I didn't work out, I'm not sure what I did actually, ha. I'm still enjoying my first week out of school and being able to sleep in and lay around if I want to. Before work I took some frozen chicken I had left from a whole chicken and heated it up with some taco seasoning and put that, onions, and tomatoes on top of lettuce for a little taco salad. The chicken tasted funny though, like it was old or something, so I really just ate the veggies. I got to work and my manager told me that I had a reservation for 40 people in the lounge at 6:30. I was really excited about making some money, so Stephani and I set up for the party and waited for them to arrive. 6:45 rolled around and no one had checked in, so my manager called them to see what was going on. They told him they changed the reservation to Sunday at another restaurant. REALLY? I don't understand how someone thinks it's okay to make a reservation for 40 PEOPLE and not call when they cancel. So David cut me and I went home without making a dime. I could have gotten cut a lot earlier if they had the decency to call. Ugh. So I went home and changed and Roxy and I went to my parents' house again for dinner. My dad cooked steak for my mom's birthday, with sweet corn and this really good whole grain bread. Then we had cheesecake with strawberries for desert while watching (500) Days of Summer. It was so good! I love both of the actors, and it was nice that it didn't end happily ever after like every other chick flick. It had a great soundtrack too. I need to buy an external hard drive so I can download some more music. It was late when the movie ended so I came home and went to bed (after falling asleep on the couch in front of the tv- so predictable).

Today I went to lunch with Kalen at Vatica, this awesome vegetarian Indian restaurant right down the street. They serve a couple different dishes in little tins on a big plate (Thali) and its all you can eat so when you finish something they push a little cart out and refill it for you! I love this place, it was great to go back. But I'm still full from eating at 12! Now it's off to work again! I hope I get out at a decent time, I'm going to go out with Tom downtown when I get off :)

A Rocky Start... Carbs and Cheese

Well, beer pong didn't happen. Instead I drank a couple glasses of wine and fell asleep. Oh well :( . So to finish talking about Monday... I started off the morning in Decatur, drove through looking for a quick breakfast, didn't find anything so just went straight to the Dekalb Farmers Market for some fresh produce and protein. I got some beautiful strawberries, apples, oranges, a cucumber, a couple tomatoes, vidalia onions (yay summer!), eggs, goat cheese, honey, chicken breasts, and ground beef. All organic, and only around $50. Not bad. I sauteed an onion, cooked an egg over easy, and toasted a piece of ciabatta bread with some goat cheese and honey. Yummy breakfast. Before work I made a turkey sandwich with the ciabatta bread, goat cheese, lettuce, and tomato. I had a few slices of cucumber on the side with some olive oil, salt and pepper. Both meals were great, where I messed up was snacking on leftover party chex mix while watching Weeds, and having a piece of leftover cookie cake :( Eating smaller portions and not constantly snacking are two things I need to work on. I brought a couple oranges to work so I wouldn't snack, and of course I ignored those and snacked on the food for the cocktail party at work. When I got home from work around 11:30 I made another turkey sandwich and had a glass of wine (instead of beer pong).

Yesterday I started my new workout routine. I woke up and immediately got dressed to go running with Roxy. She was a nightmare, and I'm in awful shape, so needless to say it was not fun. She kept pulling me everywhere and freaked out wanting to play with every dog. We'll get better. Then I got ready to grab lunch with Leigha, but unfortunately we weren't able to meet because she had so much to do and I had to go to work. So I sauteed an onion and cooked a chicken breast for lunch. Also had a few slices of tomato and a piece of bread. I didn't snack at work! But I didn't really have an opportunity. And I made up for it by eating a piece a ciabatta bread and pita chips with goat cheese at 1 am before bed. Oops. I got to see Tatyana for a few minutes before bed, I wish I had gotten off work earlier so I could have spent more time with her before she left today for Dubai :( .

This morning I spent a little time with Tatyana before she left to finish packing. I can't believe I won't see her for three months. I don't know what I'll do all summer without her. Sit at home alone with Roxy. Ha. I won't get bored, but I'll definitely miss her being around. For breakfast I sauteed an onion (yes, they are that good) and threw in a couple scrambled eggs with some shredded turkey, goat cheese, and avacado. So good! I love messing with eggs. I also cut up an apple and ate that with some peanut butter. It was a big breakfast so I watched tv and took a nap before running. Roxy was so much better today! I think she is already starting to understand what I want from her with my little yanks on her leash! The run was more relaxing, but still just as hard to finish. But it feels so good to finish, I think I can keep this up. Now I'm getting ready to go hang out with my family for my mom's birthday. And instead of eating a little fruit before dinner I ate Tatyana's leftover Mellow Mushroom. Which included too much cheese and bread, and too little nutrition :( . This is a work in progress, I can't just quit these eating habits cold turkey! I'm already doing better just because of what I have in the house to eat. If I only buy things that will contribute to me loosing weight, the only way I can eat the bad things is eating out. Which I'm trying not to do to save money.

I don't have a nice camera but I would like to start putting up some pictures, even if it's just from my iPhone. I'll tackle that later :)

The First Monday

Today is the first Monday of my summer break, so I'm trying to start it off right. Meghann, discovered by my mother, inspired me to start blogging months ago. I decided for a couple reasons to start today. First, I love writing. And as Kendra would say, "memories!" Second, I love eating. Lately that really hasn't been a good thing. I eat when I want to eat, whatever I want to eat, without considering the consequences. Well the consequences have caught up to me and I realize I'm in the worst shape of my life. Only 21 years of life, but I'm unhappy with the way I look, and I need to change that. I know that writing about the process of changing my eating and health habits for others to read will help keep me motivated. This blog won't only be about food and working out, as you can already see I like to ramble, but I will focus on it while I'm trying to form these better habits.

Speaking of better habits, I will have to finish this later because I need to go play my first beer pong game of the summer :)